Saturday, February 18, 2012

An Ode to Mio Farro

The Chef and I went to Uno's Chicago Grill in Warwick, RI last week and had a super fun time sitting at the pizza station where we got to watch the amazing pizza cook, whose name I can't remember, sorry Pizza Guy, kick serious pie butt. (Can you tell by the length of that sentence that I've had a TON of Diet Coke and it's before 9:00 am?)

Before we ordered our main courses,* we got the farro appetizer.  I know it doesn't look like the most beautiful thing in the whole wide world, but that's not what your mouth will say. Your mouth will say,** "Holy mother of pearl and all that is good and delicious, this is effing amazing." Your mouth will then cause your brain to make your arm push the man you love from his pizza-station stool to create a diversion so you can eat all the farro while he recovers.***

I will admit that I didn't actually know what farro is, so when the chef suggested the appetizer, I shrugged and said "okay" because I am very agreeable and I was eyeing the thin crust, multigrain Mediterranean pizza we also ordered as an app.**** He could have the weird stuff.

Here's what I learned about farro because I am curious by nature. Hahahahaha no. I suspect you might be curious about what it is, so I'm here to tell you, and by tell you, I mean plagiarize Wikipedia.

"Farro is a food product consisting of the grains of certain wheat species in whole form. The exact definition is debated. It is sold dried and is prepared by cooking in water until soft, but still crunchy (many recommend first soaking over night). It may be eaten plain, though it is often used as an ingredient in dishes such as salads and soups. It is sometimes ground into flour and used to make pasta or bread.

"There is much confusion or disagreement about exactly what farro is. Emmer, spelt, and einkorn are called farro in Italy, sometimes (but not always) distinguished as farro medio, farro grande, and farro piccolo, respectively. Regional differences in what is grown locally and eaten as farro, as well as similarities between the three grains, may explain the confusion."

Do you think the people at Uno, who The Chef actually knows, would give me the recipe and then The Chef could make it for me?***** Or am I going to have to drug The Chef at night and sneak over to the local Uno's and get an order or ten? Nightly.  Well done, Uno's. I wouldn't sacrifice sleep for much, but in your farrowing case, I will make an exception.

Oh, you wily little grain, you.

*Which I will tell you about later if this post doesn't get too long.

**But your mouth will not be able to say it aloud because it will be full of delicious farro.

***I'm so sorry, honey. It was an accident.******I swear I didn't mean to push you. I blame the farro.

****When you've worked in the restaurant business, you get to say appetizer like this. If you haven't worked in the biz, then you're just being a pretentious butthead.

*****Please note that nowhere am I suggesting that I actually have anything to do with the creation of this product. That would just be SILLY! And dangerous for the beloved farro.

******This didn't actually happen in real life.*******  I am blowing the scene out of proportion for dramatic emphasis on how ay-may-ZING this stuff is.

*******Just in my head. Shhh.

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