I am thankful because of reasons.

November is the time of the year when Facebookers crank their status updates to full-throttle positivity and thankfulness because Santa is in the house.  Or at least in the mall, and that's close enough to the house.

I always forget to hop on the bandwagon, because I'm not really all that coordinated and even if I did hop up that high, I don't think I'd be able to hoist myself up and into the music-filled vehicle. So it's best I stay with my feet planted on the ground rather than take a tumble and get run over by the danged thing. (Just another reason to stay away from musical stuff.)



Yes, a bandwagon is an actual thing.

But I digress, because that's how I roll.

I started out planning to make a list of all the things I am thankful for because during a final-ish pass of a millionth revision, I just rewrote the ending to my novel Fare Well (out soon!) and the main character, Madeleine, is very thankful for all the wonderfulness in her life. (I know that sounds sappy and very unlike me, but I promise it is NOT sappy and is VERY MUCH like me.)

 But I digress. Again.

So in my head, I started to make a list of things that make me happy, like my family and friends and amazing guy who fits into both categories. And my health, which is at times wonky thanks to this, but I am still good to go every single day.* And my books, which you should check out.** And and and...

So rather than narrowing my thankfulness down to a single day or even a single month, I give you my thought on the subject:

So if you are thankful for someone, tell them. Or if there's something you're thankful for, tell everyone.  I'll start.

*Even incredibly lazy days when I can't get out of my own way because there is much TV that needs to be watched. I love you, HGTV.

**Or I will fight you.

I'm denouementing. And whining.

Lots of writers say they don't like writing the middle of their stories, especially novels because they (the middles) are just so...effing...long.

Yeah, that can be a problem. Friend/mentor/really cool lady Pat Giff says we should keep making the problem (conflict) worse for the main character during this time. That has helped me a lot to get through those pesky long middles.

Me? I'm no fan of the denouement, the very very end of the story where everything wraps up. According to this source, which is not wikipedia,*  "Denouement is usually the final scene or chapter in which any necessary, and, as yet unmade, clarifications are made. The word is taken directly from French and means literally 'untying.' The French nouer is from the Latin nodare which was derived from nodus, meaning 'knot to untie.'"

Look! A graph! Or is it a chart? Or a map? ::shrugs:: I'll stick to writing.

My inclination is to write an ending something along the lines of "And then they died. The end" regardless of what came before that sentence, but apparently this is not an ending readers like. In fact this pesky denouement** is the only part of the Julia novel (which I've been working since...forever) that I have left to write. My friend Shelagh (check out her blog) said I'm not allowed to end this way. She is mean.*** 

How to tell I do not like writing that part of the book?  I'm explaining literary terms to you rather than just doing it.

In order to not have a predictable ending, I may have fiddled with the idea of the happy ending. I read recently, "You can write a good ending as some novelists do. You can write a great ending as fewer do. You could write the perfect ending as all too few do. Or... you could write the only ending. Ah, there's the rub. What's the perfect ending? And can the progression of the plot (i.e. the journey of the character(s) and chain of events) justify the denouement and vice versa?"

 I KNOW what the perfect ending is.**** I just don't want to write it because it may wind up being a little bit sad and I don't like being sad.

It's not like I am against happy endings in general. I love happy endings. (Shut up, you.) I just want it to be DONE already.****

 Fine. I'll do it. (After snacktime.) But I'm not going to like it. (But I will like the snack.)

What's that? You're worried because I seem to have completely abandoned Hazel?  Oh, on the contrary. She has some big news coming up in less than a month. But it's a secret so you will have to wait.




*Although they have a great breakdown of dramatic structure even though they are The Evil W.
**But I do LOVE to say "denouement" because it makes me feel really really smart.
***Not really. She is actually very nice.
****Because The Ending Fairy came!
*****And by DONE, I mean MOSTLY done. She still needs a good going through/editing, but that's different and way easier.

How DOES The Chef put up with me?

You know that whole thing about challenging yourself?

Howzabout this duplex of crazy (poor April; poor Chef):

1. Comedy Boot Camp, performing 5 minutes of stand-up at Catch A Rising Star in April.
2. C25k,* running a 5k at the end of April.

Plus there's the writing workshop with a TON of amazing friends,** run by the AMAZING Patricia Reilly Giff. Last time it ran, I wound up in the hospital for over a week. These two items are not related.

*I'm on Week 2, Day 1, if you must know.

**Including but not limited to her and her and her and her and her

Knee-Slappin' (or Lickin') Funny

The Chef and I saw Michael Ian Black at Catch a Rising Star* in Little Rhody** on Friday. (See photo. Yep. That guy. You've seen him a million times. Remember The State? LOVED that show!)

Anyway, I won tickets via the facebook and then a most awesome friend scored us a front row table.*** I could have licked his knees. MI Black, I mean, not my friend. That would be weird.


*I have something to tell you about this place, but not today, dear. I have a headache.

**I HATE when people call it this. Is there a Big Rhody somewhere I don't know about? Like when a father and son have the same first name so one of them is the Big and one is the Little?

***The Chef taught me that "It doesn't hurt to ask." If you don't ask for what you want, you're not giving someone the opportunity to do something kind. So really, asking people for what you want is a public service. Please note that this is MY interpretation. The Chef's mind isn't nearly as convoluted.

From Publisher's Marketplace!!! Yay Jack!!!

THE BIG POLICEMAN* author J. North Conway's BAG OF BONES, the tale of the mystery surrounding the theft, ransom and return of Alexander Turney Stewart's remains and one of the most renowned and bungled police investigations in New York City's history, to Keith Wallman at Lyons Press, for publication in Spring 2012, by Tris Coburn at Tristram C. Coburn Literary Management (World).

(I'm doing this from my iPad, so I have limited maneuverability here. Later I will add links and pics. but I wanted to share the news because I am EXCITED for my friend! Yay!)

*Buy THIS book and you may (okay you will--if you look) find a certain someone's name on the acknowledgements** page

**This is such a hard word to type. Try it!

To quote Mr Burns...

"Exxxxcellent."

But, thanks to my bestie Jame Richards (Go read her book. I'll wait.), 2011 will now be referred to as a most exce11ent year. Take a few minutes to muster up some exce11ent for you or your own bestie. Or both!!!

Your mission is to make exce11ent happen. Or, to quote Captain Picard...

"Make it so..."*

*I couldn't choose between this quotation and "Engage," so take your pick.**

**It's Choose Your Own Punchline time!!!